


On the Loose

by yetanotherfangirl



Category: One Direction(band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Era, Friends With Benefits, M/M, blame Niall he wrote On the Loose, this is just a snippet that came to me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 05:48:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11306985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yetanotherfangirl/pseuds/yetanotherfangirl
Summary: Niall doesn't know how to say no to Harry and Harry doesn't know how to ask the right questions.





	On the Loose

**Author's Note:**

> This is just me having feelings about on the loose. It's just a snippet, will probably make a proper fic of it later. Can't believe I actually posted something I wrote.
> 
> Needless to say, this is all just fiction, not a real depiction of the characters mentioned. Please don't send to anyone associated with the boys.

Niall should know better than to say yes to Harry when he calls. But Niall does it anyway; whenever Harry calls him, his voice low, asking him if he was free and if it was okay that Harry came over, Niall says ‘sure mate’. Because that’s what they are- mates. Mates who get off with each other at times, but only in a friendly-bro way.

  
It’s been three months since the hiatus officially started when Harry calls him. Niall’s back home in London after the holiday madness and it’s, well, it’s the easiest time to get Niall to say yes. Mullingar during holiday is always a rush of family and friends and relatives and cousins he hasn’t seen since they were toddlers. The quietness is always a bit jarring when he gets to London, especially now that Deo had moved in with his girlfriend. He’s only a few blocks away but it’s not the same as having the constant presence of someone around you.

  
That’s the reason Niall says yes to Harry even though he knows ‘come over’ was just code word for ‘have sex and leave in the morning’. It’s the loneliness that bites him, after years of strict schedules and someone or the other breathing down his neck, the coming back to a quiet house. It’s why he says yes to Harry even though he swore he never would again, not after that last time- the supposedly last time- in Sheffield. The tour was done, they were getting older, that would be the end of the NiallandHarry Thing, atleast that was what Niall had thought.

  
So wrong, Niall thinks now as he runs his fingers through his hair, light brown at the edges now, waiting for Harry to arrive. The bell rings and then Harry’s standing in front of Niall, his hair mussed from the long flight and car journey, and his face beaming with a bright smile. “Hi there! Nialler,” Harry says and envelops Niall in a hug. “It’s been so long since I last saw you.”

  
Niall laughs at that,” thought you’d appreciate the space.”

  
Harry dumps his bag on the floor and pushes Niall against the door. “I missed you,” he says before bringing his lips down to kiss Niall. It feels familiar, the weight of Harry’s lips against his own. But there’s more memories coming back, the familiar feeling of relief, and happiness and peace at having Harry so close to him.

  
Harry breaks apart his moving sliding down Niall’s back to the zip of his jeans. “Control yourself you desperado,” Niall laughs and pushes Harry away. Harry gives him a dramatically tragic look, and then flops himself on the couch, his hair splayed out on the arms of the couch. “You were never about control,” Harry huffs.

  
“What have you been unto?” Niall asks, pulling up Harry’s legs and then placing them on his lap as he sits down.

  
“Nothing much.” Harry says, listing things on his fingers,” Went to Gemma’s friend’s wedding, spent Christmas at Dad’s, went on a holiday to St. Barths.” Niall tries not to wince at that. He had seen the pictures with Kendall. Not that he was stalking Harry, or anything. His fans do enough of that, leaving Niall to reap the benefits. He probably should be ashamed to admit it.

  
“Ellen was there,” Harry continues,” Kendall was there. That was fun.”

  
A surge of jealousy comes trundling up Niall’s cheeks and the thing is Niall knows it’s irrational. Harry and Kendall have never been anything more than really good friends, all the media hoopla is nothing but useless journos not having things to do. Niall knows all this but that doesn’t stop him from feeling resentment towards Kendall for having Harry at an arm’s distance, in St. Barths, in LA, while Niall sits around waiting for Harry to decide to share a piece of himself.

  
“… and the paps went crazy for that.” Harry comes to the end of whatever story he was telling. He sits up now, “Where have you been these three months?”

  
“Nothing interesting,” Niall says, atleast nothing as interesting as getting family pictures clicked with supermodels, and sending teenagers across the world in a frenzy. “Met up with friends in Ireland, went on a holiday to Thailand, sick place, man.”  
Harry’s fidgeting with the threads in his jeans now. His voice is hesitant as he speaks his next words. “I have an audition tomorrow, for a movie.” Niall’s surprised at that, Harry’s never shown any serious interest in acting before. Neither of his previous acting efforts been anything great but by the way Harry is looking at Niall- like he just wants assurance- he can tell how much this means to him now.

  
“ That’s great, H. You’ll do good,” Niall says reassuringly.” I mean, nothing can be worse than out Gotta Be You video, right. The only way to go is up.” Harry laughs at that. “ We were terrible actors, weren’t we.”

  
They spend the evening catching up. Niall tells him about his charity thing with Justin Rose, and the socceraid he’s doing with Louis. Harry tells him he met up with Liam in LA, and that Liam is completely besotted with Cheryl. To be honest, Liam falls head over heels for every person that he dates, so there’s nothing new in that. Harry tells him how he’s finally glad to pass on the baton of ‘the one who dates older women’ to Liam. The joke’s too old now, even Niall knows that.

  
Once they’ve had dinner, Harry drags Niall along with him to the guestroom, and that intensity is back again, that feeling of needing Harry always close to him but never getting it because Harry never gives more than he wants to. Like he has bundled up his emotions so well it’s not possible to peek into Harry’s mind. Being with Harry is always this, this paradoxical mix of fulfillment and longing.

  
Niall lets himself enjoy this, let Harry’s arms roam over his lips, waist. He wonders if Harry feels what Niall feels, like trailing the other’s body was felt similar to walking down paths in his hometown, something safe and unchanging.

  
They lay in bed after, Harry lazily playing with Niall’s hair. “Are you not dyeing it anymore.?” Harry asks.

  
“ ‘Tis too much work. Might as well let it grow the way it does.”

  
“I like blond you.” Harry says. “But this looks sexy too.”

  
Niall doesn’t say anything to that, and continues to let Harry pet his hair. He likes how it’s familiar, how it’s routine. Niall hasn’t told this to anyone, but his loneliness is not just about not having people around him but also the uncertainty of about his career, his life. Zayn and Liam had their voices, Louis has his personality, Harry has his charm and while Niall has a bit of all those things he’s never had enough of one. He’s so afraid that the rest of his life won’t measure up to whatever he had before, that it keeps him up at night sometimes.

  
Harry’s not there when he wakes up in the morning but, and this is a first, his bag sits in the corner of the room. Niall finds a note in the bedside table

  
‘ _Went for the audition. Will be back for lunch_.’ -H

  
Sometimes Niall wonders why Harry bothers signing off with that H. It’s not like there’s anybody else there in the house. Same with his tweets, it makes him so impersonal, so distant, like some distant relative whose name you have to be reminded.  
Niall watches golf for a while, texts Justin to schedule a studio session, and debates whether he should put the effort of cooking something nice or just order something in. In the end, he’s so bored he ends up cooking an elaborate meal involving kale risotto, stuffed chicken, and pasta. He’s setting the table when Harry saunters in with his eyes widening as he sees the meal spread out on the table.

  
“Might I say Niall, you’re very good at wooing.” Harry wiggles his eyebrows and then goes and washes his hands at the sink. He stands next to the table, waiting for something. Niall raises an eyebrow and Harry says, “Won’t you pull the chair for me.”

  
Niall rolls his eyes but he does it anyway. His audition went well, Harry tells him. He sounds confident and Niall’s happy to hear that. He doesn’t know if Harry is going to stay the weekend, or fuck back to LA now that he’s done with whatever work he had. Being with Harry always entails dealing with the uncertainties, he’s gonna stay, he’s gonna leave, this is casual, this is real.

  
He does this thing sometimes; when he is with Harry- in bed, or eating, or sometimes on stage, - he’ll imagine what would happen if he just grabbed Harry’s wrist and forced Harry to confront whatever they had going on, maybe kiss Harry in front of everyone and see if their Thing stands the test of reality or is just meant to exist behind closed doors. But then, as much as fans, and One Direction annuals, claim him to be a happy-go-lucky guy who thrives when he’s making new friends, the truth is Niall has never known how to ask people to stay.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [ mayabayselfie ](http://mayabayselfie.tumblr.com)


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